


November 2nd

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 15:48:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16600907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Sam hates himself and Gabriel steps in.





	November 2nd

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TeamFreeDogs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamFreeDogs/gifts).



> This is a birthday present for my favorite person in the entire world. I'm so sorry that I completely messed up and almost forgot your birthday and that's why this is so short and also it turned out much much angstier than I had planned but I hope you still like it and I promise to make it up to you with some fluffy one-shots that I have almost finished!  
> ILY!!

November 2nd still marked a bad day in the Winchesters’ calendars, after all those years that had passed since then. Even now that Mary was back, the brothers couldn’t help but grieve for the normal apple pie life they never had.  
For Sam, it also marked the anniversary of losing Jess. While Dean was out at some bar getting horribly drunk and probably hooking up with some random girl, Sam stayed in his room in the bunker, huddled up in his bed and lost in all the What Ifs and If Onlys swirling around in his head. It was a perfect day to grieve for lost opportunities and blaming himself for all the bad things in the world.

Gabriel quietly entered the bunker, directly heading to the kitchen to prepare some hot cocoa. If he chose to ignore his boyfriend’s request of being left alone, he could at least make amends for it. He added some cinnamon – just the way Sam liked it and then went to knock on Sam’s door.

When he got no response, Gabriel opened the door and entered the room. Sam was lying in his bed, facing the wall with a blank stare. He looked downright miserable. Quickly placing the mugs on the bedside table, the archangel sat down on the bed and scooped the hunter up in his arms, hugging him tightly.

They stayed like this for several minutes before finally, Sam started to relax and lean into his embrace. There still was no need for words and leaning back on the headboard, Gabriel started to run his fingers through Sam’s hair in soothing motions, over and over until Sam began struggling and pulled back from him, looking more broken and lost than ever.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked, voice quiet and almost breaking.

“Doing what?”

“This. Being nice to me. Taking care of me. You know you don’t have to, I told you that.”

“And you know I told you that I don’t mind it. Now come here. I hate to see your beautiful soul all battered up like this and I wish I could do more about it but I can’t, so I’m doing my best to help you, because I like you far too much to leave you alone in times like this.”

Sam stared at him in disbelieve, his eyes watering.

“I really can’t imagine that there is anything beautiful about my soul. There never was, and now, after everything that has happened in the past years, there would be nothing left even if there had been anything ‘beautiful’ about it. Look at all the shit I’ve done and caused. I have gotten so many people killed. Shit, I’ve killed so many people myself! I’m nothing but a failure!”

Gabriel felt his heart go even heavier at that statement. Until that moment, he had never fully realized how much Sam was suffering from his past. Even though he knew about the frequent nightmares, how had he failed to see the extent of the self-hatred Sam was carrying around with himself?

“Hey none of that! What do you mean you don’t know how bright and beautiful your soul is? I have existed for billions of years and not once have I seen anything as perfect as you. Since we first met I felt drawn to the light your soul radiates. Don’t you ever dare even thinking lowly about yourself. You are the most amazing, most beautiful and strongest person I ever met. You are the living proof that humanity truly is dad’s best creation. You are the epitome of goodness. Please believe me, there is not a single force in all of history that could make you a bad person.  
It’s time for you to forgive yourself. Let it go. You already have given everything.  
And I love you, for exactly what you are. Don’t you ever forget that.”

Sam stared at him in shock for a long moment before a timid smile started tugging at the corner of his lips.

“That’s the first time you said that to me. That you… love me.”

“Oh, that’s right and I meant it. Now how about we watch a movie? Time to make this day a bit better, isn’t it?”

In hindsight, he shouldn’t have let Gabriel pick the movie.

“Nothing better than the best movie of all time to cheer my favorite boyfriend up” he had said, when they started watching Shrek for the fourth time this week.

Sam was surprised to find that the plan actually worked when they were cuddled up on the couch, his head in Gabriel’s lap, the archangel’s fingers playing with his hair again, gently massaging his scalp. 

When he dared to stop after half an hour, too engrossed in the movie to pay attention to anything other than the screen, Sam simply grabbed his hand and placed it back on his head, motioning for him to continue.  
He didn’t know why, but this was the best sensation he had felt in years, the touch felt so soothing and comforting, and most of all, undemanding. He felt safe and content and at home with Gabriel and he certainly didn’t want to let go of his touch yet. He realized that this felt very right. That they felt very right.

“Hey Gabe?”

“What’s up?”

“I love you too.”


End file.
